“She said it will be too hard for me, so I have to be realistic… I probably won’t make it.”


“It’s not really bothering me, but if I was good enough, wouldn’t people be on my side?”


(With slumped shoulders) “Whatever… I’ll just do what I can.”


(My all time favorite) “I know I can’t. Why try?”

There’s nothing sadder than a defeated mindset, especially when it comes from someone who’s worked so hard for her goal. It’s easy to say we “want” something… action in the face of adversity will always be the key to whether we achieve that something or not.

This is why I talk so much to my students about the 99% / 1% rule: 99% talk… only 1% do something about it!

We’ll only reach the 1% if we’re willing to do what most won’t… and that’s simply about getting up, brushing off our pain, embarrassment, disappointment, or whatever else is keeping us from our next level. Everyone “fails,” but only 1% embrace that failure, understanding it’s the biggest key to success we have. 99% view failure as the END… 1% see failure as an opportunity to find a better way.

So… to the defeated mind above: You only have two options:
1)Quit.
2)Punch back with unwavering belief in yourself.

99 or 1?

Result: To spring, arise, or proceed as a consequence of actions.

Improve: To increase in value, excellence, etc; become better.

Look at these two words and their definitions. We all instinctively focus on needing that result at the end of the day, but “improvement” is what we should be really striving for. Look again at both definitions – increasing in value; becoming better is what it’s all about in the long run, whether we’re trying to become healthier, grow our business, or reach higher athletic grounds.

Results come directly from the actions we take that are IMPROVING OUR PERFORMANCE, and should be looked at as something that can’t be controlled. Whether we’re achieving the results we desire or not, our only focus should be the improvement of self. If we concentrate on the actions that will advance our execution, the outcome will take care of itself, and most likely be what we want in the long run.

Focusing on results is instinctive, and difficult to change (especially in our results-oriented society), but switching this mindset is absolutely critical if we want to attain our goals. To those who are trying to lose (X) amount of weight, stay away from the scale longer than you normally would, and use that attention to focus on your needed daily actions. I understand the importance of monitoring your progress through this specific journey, but the scale will always reflect your committed daily decisions and actions… make those your focal point!

To you athletes: It’s not, and never will be about the winning or losing! I repeat that statement at least 50 times every single day. You’re not playing to win, but instead to improve, compete, and love the personal battle that’s taking place within. If you truly want to win every time, that’s very easy to accomplish… simply play opponents way below your skill level… you’ll never lose again! You won’t do that, though. You know how bored you’d be if you only played against opponents who you knew you could beat.

Results are inevitable in life, but the important question we should be asking ourselves: “How do we attain the desired results without thinking about attaining the desired results?”


Yee-haw (did I just say that??)… what a fun question to try and answer. There are many techniques to accomplish such an answer, but the one that has always resonated with me the strongest…

Love to improve!

This topic has been discussed with me at least 10 times this week, mostly from parents about their kids who are attempting to “take their game to the next level.” As parents, their instincts scream safety and careful for their children’s future… even though they’re supporting their long term goals and motivations.

“Have a backup plan… just in case.”

I’m embarrassed to admit that I was watching American Idol tonight – my wife made me watch it with her ;-). I’m actually glad I did because at the end of the show, Randy Jackson told one of the contestants to “be about it,” after she got voted off the show.

I loved that quote. Be about it… what does it mean?

To me, it means: Go for it; don’t stop; commit to your decisions; stay positive; follow your passions; go all the way; never let anyone say you can’t; work your butt off at all time; never quit.

Be about it. 
When things get tough, and you hit a wall, keep fighting through to your ultimate goal. Create a plan in your mind, put in on paper, and take action towards your finish line. When your friends and family tell you that it’ll be too hard, and you’ll most likely fail… ignore them at all costs.

Be about it. 
Jealousy is all around you, especially when you’re taking a risky road… a path that most wouldn’t take. Remember that when you’re reaching for higher ground, many will try to grab ahold of your heels, and pull you back down to their level. They hate those who strive for more than they could ever dream of. They can’t imagine long term goals manifesting. Actually, they can’t imagine even having long term goals.

Be about it. 
The past has nothing to do with your future. You should try to learn from yesterday, but never ever allow it to dictate your actions today. This minute, and the steps you take, will determine your future… the challenge for us all, is the future will never be here, so we mustn’t focus on it too much. The day we think our future is upon us… it turns into now. Now is all we have – concentrate on maximizing it’s potential.

Be about it. 
Have a dream, and wake up trying to make it come true. Feel the passion deep in your gut when you think of that dream. When someone tells you that you’re crazy for wanting to attain such a lofty goal, nod your head, tell them you respect their opinion, and then mentally give them the finger! Let them live in negativity… you live in possibility.

Be about it.

I was recently talking to someone about the work I do, trying to explain in detail, when she came up with the perfect definition… she titled me an ‘immersion coach.’ When I thought about it, she made sense. I help people get immersed in the process of whatever they’re trying to accomplish… and attempt to keep them immersed in that journey through the inevitable ups and downs. Kinda cool, when you think about it that way.

So… are you immersed in your process? If not, why? If so, what will it take for you to stay totally committed through the difficult days?

Becoming completely wrapped-up in the wonderful (sometimes painful) walk to the “next level” is critical, don’t you think? When I look back at the things I’ve accomplished, they’ve only taken shape when I became 100% focused on reaching that goal… no matter how long or how many different directions it took. Conversely, when I glance at the rear view mirror and look at the road of my incompletions, it’s so obvious the reason I failed to achieve was due to the lack of immersion.

Does this intense concentration come from passion? Is it born from the willingness to never give up, whether we’re in love with the journey or not? Yes. And yes. Sometimes, immense passion is the absolute key to success, where other times it can come from old fashion grit and heart. Either way, becoming engrossed in the development of our chosen path is crucial to it’s finish.

“Wanting, hoping, or thinking about how nice it would be if…” just isn’t enough, and won’t ever push us far enough. We must make a conscious, committed, and unwavering decision to do whatever it takes to accomplish our goals.

• Sure, it would be awesome to play professional sports, but do I truly have what it takes, mentally and emotionally… and will I immerse myself in the long, difficult journey of such a goal? 

• To be able to shed this extra weight (5-150 lbs… doesn’t matter) would be a dream, and would change my life! Will I sacrifice my old habits, create new ones, and totally commit to whatever it takes… no matter the mental and physical pain?

I was preparing notes for a new student I’ll be starting with tomorrow, thinking about what he needs this minute of his career. He’s an elite 17 year old golfer, who’s headed for the college life next year, but also has a great chance at the professional level. He’s as physically talented as they come for his age, but is in need of some detailed mental tools. 

As I continued to prepare his session, focusing on specific concepts he can bring to the course right away, it dawned on me that he’s a “mental rookie,” meaning we haven’t talked much about his long term plan. He wants techniques that will help him become emotionally tougher tomorrow… but this can’t, and won’t happen before the more important picture is painted. 

• 11:00 start
• 10:00 warmup 
• Two hour drive – leave at 8
• 30 minute morning warmup – start at 7:30
• 15 minute drive to court – leave house at 7:10
• 30 minute breakfast – begin at 6:35
• 15 minute shower – 6:15
• Wake up time: 6:10

This technique made my tournament days so much easier on my emotions and stress level. 

The same can be used for long term goals in our daily lives. What do we see for ourselves in 1 year? What must happen in order to achieve those goals? How are we going to make that blueprint manifest? “Go.”

If we look ahead to that 1 year goal, then bounce all the way back to the present, we consequently ignore the most important part of the process… the action needed to achieve. 

So, back to my 17 year old golfer… tomorrow, he’ll instinctively want answers that will immediately create a stronger, more effective mental game. Unfortunately, before any of these techniques can be revealed, he has to paint a clear, detailed picture of what he sees for himself in the long term… then work backwards!

As I sat down to my computer to focus on a topic to write about, I began thinking about how lucky I am to have such an amazing foundation of support under me.

It then struck me like a sack of potatoes (have you ever been hit by a big bag of potatoes? I HAVE – it hurts!): We can’t, and rarely will get anywhere in our lives without a strong support system. Think about your own life for a minute… when you’re being fed with love, strength, and confidence, how much better do you feel… therefore, allowing for a stronger result? Compare that situation to the times where you’ve felt alone. Unfortunately, we’ve all lived in that room – some longer than others, but we’ve all experienced it’s pain. That time feels horrible, as if nothing positive will ever appear in our lives?

To those who are still living that alone existence… my apologies. I wish I could do something for you in this immediate moment. I wish I could take your hand, place the magic solution inside, and make it all go away. In these moments of alone time, flip the switch on it’s butt! Use this minute to plant the seed of power… yeah, I said POWER! No one will help you through these difficult days?? (Bleep) them, then! Grow strength from yourself, and the knowledge that you have slowly growing on the inside. Don’t know what that specific knowledge is yet? Look yourself in the mirror… no tears or self-pity… and ask. Keep asking until you hear an answer whisper back. Then take crazy, massive action, and use “their” lack of help as fuel to reach your goals. Do it now!

Whoa… didn’t know where that apparent passion/frustration came from. Maybe I’ve felt that way in the past, yeah?

Look around to the people on each side of you. Are they lifting you up or pulling you down? If they’re not holding you high, simply let them go. Life’s too short to live in the moments of struggle, when it becomes our choice to wake up that way. If you have “friends” who wish you’d simply stay the way you are… say bye bye. It doesn’t have to be a rude or angry farewell – consistent silence is just as powerful.

To those friends who are holding you on their shoulders, begging you to reach for that next step… thank them like you’ve never thanked anyone before. They are why you succeed, and will continue reaching new heights. They look after you, even (especially) when you’re not looking. These angels are why you are who you are. Try not to take them for granted. Each moment that drifts by without a subtle head-nod in appreciation is a minute wasted… an occasion missed to acknowledge those who truly make a difference in your life.

Without this support system, we’d be going at it alone, wondering if what we’re doing is really making a difference.

This is where I give my gorgeous wife soooo much credit for who I am today! Without her love, support, and assurance that I am doing what I should be doing, I simply wouldn’t be doing. She’s never, ever said I would fail… or ask me why I’m shooting for such lofty goals. Conversely, she’s only said I WILL… I absolutely will achieve everything I’m longing for. Not only does she give me mental and emotional support, she gives me that “look.” Those eyes that stare through me, as if to say, “If you don’t keep pushing, fighting, and proving… I will hurt you!”

I love her for everything she’s taught (and continues to teach) me. She’s my shoulder… she’s my reason!

I got into a heated discussion with a client today regarding “wanting” to win vs. “trying” to win. He was attempting to convince me that all the so-called greats try to win every time they compete. He couldn’t be more wrong!

Let me explain…

There’s a huge difference between wanting and trying to achieve. We all absolutely want… but the ones who truly get it never try to win. They try to master their process, and allow the result to be what it’s going to be. They focus on their decisions and daily goals… everything that’s in their control. Winning isn’t in our control. Don’t believe me? (Many don’t at first).

Show me how to win. You simply can’t!

• You can show me how to eat correctly and work out regularly (that may or may not help you lose weight). 
• You can show me how to hit that perfect golf shot (that may or may not lead to a good score).
• You can show me how to smack a brilliant forehand in tennis (that may or may not win you the match).

If we can’t control the outcome, then we shouldn’t be trying to focus on anything that has to do with outcome. We should only be trying to accomplish those things that are in our control. We’re all humans, which means we’re emotional and get attached to results. The problem with this instinct is that it makes us fall into the “trying to win” trap.

If you’re trying to become healthier and create a lifestyle change, wanting your specific goals to manifest is natural and good… but focusing on trying to accomplish them is an illusion.

Instead, TRY to stay consistent every single day with your actions. TRY to remain discipline when every bone in your body is telling you to take a break from this journey. TRY to make the correct decisions that will eventually lead you to your ultimate goal(s). TRY to stay strong in the face of jealousy and drama. TRY to think correctly, which will create positive and powerful emotions, which will help you attain everything you’re wanting. TRY to focus on everything that you can control in this minute. TRY live in this single moment.

You see… if you simply try to do all of the above, good things will naturally happen.

Do I want to win every time? Heck-freakin-yes!

But I’ll never try.

I got into