I may have had an epiphany of some kind. As I traveled back from a road trip, I caught my mind wondering about a few of my students, analyzing their paths, and asking if there’s more I can do for them. Taking road trips is one of my favorite times to let my mind go, allowing it to Blue Sky possibilities. I simply let it go wherever it wants, never editing it’s ideas.

After about 3 hours of driving, and extensive analyzing of one student’s game specifically, I realized I wasn’t following my gut during her lessons. I was unconsciously holding back, in fear of rejection. I’ve learned a few unconventional techniques to help certain type of students, but have become hesitant to introduce them due to the depth we’ll need to dive. I was lucky enough to have a mentor who taught me these techniques, but also warned me that many people won’t understand their strengths and power. Because of this, I must be absolutely sure the student can handle their true meaning.

As I fought with myself about introducing these concepts, I felt a calm from within… as if I KNEW I should. All of a sudden, it became crystal clear that she needed to hear what I had to say. She was longing to create a new perspective and thinking that could only come from me at this specific moment. The timing was perfect, her frustrations were at an all time high, and I had the answer.

For the last three months, my gut was telling me she could handle it… give her a chance. My fears were punching back, though, not allowing my instincts to take over. Somewhere along the 101 freeway, clarity struck like never before. This is the answer to her nightmare. This is what will set her free from the handcuffs she locked on her own wrists.

This weekend, I let her in on my little secret. O.k., it wasn’t really a secret, but many have never looked at themselves in this much detail, so it always feels like a secret when it’s revealed. After a couple minutes of not taking a breathe, I inhaled… she laughed… I continued with as much passion as I’ve ever felt.

The point of this post wasn’t to explain the answer to her challenges, but more about listening to your instincts when they’re screaming at you. For me, it took a 4 hour road trip to clear my mind enough to hear and trust my gut reactions to her frustrations. If I would have been less afraid, and made my priority her freedom, maybe she wouldn’t have felt so much pain.

Epiphany? Who knows.

Success? Definitely!

I have a personal policy where I agree to participate in every sport or activity I’m helping my students with. Up until now, it’s been pretty ABC kind of stuff… Basketball, tennis, baseball, golf, volleyball, swimming, surfing, dieting, and I actually took an aerobics class. Thank goodness, the 90’s had passed, otherwise I would’ve been stuck wearing the tight black spandex in that little adventure. I created this policy to make myself feel what they’re feeling, even if it’s just for a day. I’ve been lucky enough to play most all sports, and a few very competitively, so I’ve had the opportunity to feel many different forms of pressure.

Nothing to date has ever bothered me much, with the exception of having to duck out of the way of a fast ball coming at my head in the high 80 mph range… that made me prove I was potty trained. Oh, and maybe the shake diet I participated in made me drool for a Rib Eye a bit, but overall, it’s been fine.

This next one, I must admit, is making me wish I didn’t care how my students felt. I’m having a really hard time figuring out how I’m going to do it. My newest client’s choice of sport is… wait for it… hang gliding! Are you kidding me?! Hang-freakin-gliding!! If you knew me, you’d know I’m not too fond of heights above my couch. Changing a light bulb from the ceiling makes me second guess myself, so this jumping-off-a-cliff-and-trying-not-to-fall-to-my-death thing has me a little worried.

Why did I ever create such a stupid, stupid policy?

Running against mother nature isn’t easy. I remember my dad telling me to never spit into the wind… I now know why. 


It’s much easier to ride the wind in the direction it wants to go. Fighting that force of nature is brutal, but must be fought. For some reason, my instincts want to keep throwing punches against this power that keeps blowing me over. Who I am won’t let me concede. I’ll win, no matter how long it takes. 


What if I simply turn my back and allow this 50 mph wind to take me where I’m supposed to go? That’s too easy… it can’t be the correct decision. If I give in, doesn’t that mean I lose. I hate losing. I actually hate losing more than I like winning.


The power of my stubbornness will prevail. It will lead me to my goals and motivations in the long run… I hope? No hoping, dammit! Commit, trust, and accept. Talk those words. Live those words. 


Every time I peek outside, the tree tops seem to want to touch the ground. It’s so windy. Walking is impossible. Running is the only option… but do I put my head down and fight against, or turn my back and allow the powers-that-be to dictate? 


I’ve always been taught the quickest route from A to B is a straight line. I’m now doubting that lesson. There’s no such thing as a straight line, especially in a hurricane. In my opinion, the fastest lane is the one that takes the most consistent steps… left, right, diagonal,  or straight. Does my new belief mean all those “wise” teachers were wrong? Did they know what they were talking about? Did they live their words? When I open my front door, and am blown back inside, I tend to conclude they were wrong. My straight line isn’t as straight as I once believed.


I love the wind!

I just finished watching an interview with Tom Watson, one of the greatest golfers of all time, and it got me thinking more on this subject. He talked about playing imaginary matches against his heroes when he was a kid. Every time he would play by himself, he’d pretend to be competing against Jack Nicklaus in the U.S. Open, beating him on the last hole. Later in his career, it actually came true. Tom made a miraculous comeback against Jack, winning the U.S. Open.

Years and years of strong, passionate visualizations manifesting as an adult. Without knowing it, Tom was opening the possibilities of success simply by fearless, no-lose visuals. He wasn’t on the course losing in his imaginary matches… yet, we seem to do this to ourselves on a daily basis. Instead of fearless dreaming and goal setting, we tend to stay in the same boring situation for a lifetime.

Thinking more about this, I remembered how this free mindset affected a couple of my students recently. After our very first session, Christopher broke his all time score… so good, it would be considered a professional level. After asking him how he did it, he simply answered, “because I actually thought it was possible for the first time!” After playing at a completely new level for a week or so, he eventually fell back into his old mental habits, and began repeating his “normal scoring.” Our goal, then, was to help him figure out how to remain in this new, fearless mindset for the long term. He continued to slip in and out of his belief system, as his old negative habits weren’t too happy with saying goodbye. Once he learned to play every game with this fearless, anything is possible mindset, his scores consistently stayed strong. He’s now off to college, expecting to become a professional athlete in the future… all because he let go of what he once thought was possible.


The same thing happened with another student of mine. She’s a stay at home mom, who’s struggled with her weight for years, unable to find a way to keep it off on a consistent basis. After our first session of talking about what will be, the moment she flips her mindset and old belief system, she instantly became a new woman. She had a gleam in her eye that wasn’t there before; she allowed herself to stare into the future without the negative what-ifs. We didn’t do anything magical… all we talked about was what will absolutely happen when she creates a new way of looking at herself. We didn’t mention “hope,” “it would be nice if,” or “when you try to.” We created a definite, long term picture of her new body and lifestyle, making her focus only on a completed path. 


It really is this simple to start the change we want. The tricky part of this equation is the day to day consistency. This is where our passion for the desired goals and the specific plan and action takes over. There must be a plan and massive action… but before any of that can happen, we have to open the floodgates! Think about the possible… how good it WILL feel to accomplish, and the new life that will result from such thinking.

The most difficult decision I face, as I add on to my goals list, is opening those gates of possibility. I instinctively focus on why it may be too tough to accomplish. I have to force myself on a daily basis to let go of all that negative baggage, and concentrate on why it will definitely happen.

Give yourself the “o.k” to look beyond what you think is probable… feel it’s instant power and freedom when your mind goes to that place.

Possibility = Probability!  

Just be nice.

If you see someone in need… give!

I watched at least 25 people look at her, stop, stare, and walk away in disgust. They should be disgusted with their own behavior. Help her; view her with compassion and empathy, rather than fear and horror. Instead of focusing on her present state (a place where you could easily find yourself), concentrate on opening your hand to her… offering your generosity and understanding.

When she looks in your eyes and sees your selflessness, this may be enough to make her feel worthy. If you make her feel as if she belongs, she may start believing the same. Small gifts often find themselves turning into large life-changers.

We too often find ourselves judging the current state of others, as if we’re untouchable. She wasn’t always living this way. Something in her rear view created a path of misfortune, eventually placing her here today. Help her find a better path, even if it’s by simply saying hello or nodding hi. Smiling as you pass may do more to help her than you’ll ever know.

Everyone is worthy of compassion… no matter their present state.

She used to own shoes.

If we’re going to achieve anything, we must be passionate, create a plan, and be totally committed to taking action towards that plan. I want to congratulate a few of my golf students who understand this equation, and are on track to accomplishing everything they want.

Ladies first, of course…

Mareon Smit 
She just won her first big tournament at the Ventura Junior Match Play Championship. This 17 year old is one of the most focused, discipline, and hard working athletes I’ve ever seen. She’s been battling through some difficult obstacles, on and off the course, but is now beginning to realize how her work ethic is paying off.  She views these “obstacles” as opportunities, and is proving that nothing will stop her from reaching her goals. I mention her name to all of my students, no matter the sport. Everyone can learn from Mareon’s attitude and dedication to the next level. Professional golf will be in her future if she continues to immerse herself in this process.

Jack Perry
This week, he finished second in the SCGA (Southern Cal. Golf Assoc.) Match Play Championship, having to beat many older and more experienced players along the way. At age 18, he was the youngest competitor in the field, but proved to be stronger, mentally and physically than 99% of the players. He’s an incredible ball-striker, but has lacked self belief and a knowingness that he can dominate every time he steps onto the course. Without question, he’s learning how to “flip the switch” from fear to an unwavering confidence and belief that he does belong. Jack’s headed to Northwestern University next year, and will definitely be walking the courses as a professional in the future.

Matthew Hansen
He’s currently playing in the NCGA (Northern Cal. Golf Accoc.) Match Play Championship, and winning big! Today, he defeated the #1 player in the NCGA, and at is competing in his next round as I write. At 18 years old, he is also one of the youngest players in the field, but is proving that age is only a number. Matthew has a calm, meticulous way about him… yet is a fearless competitor. When I texted him after one of his wins, reminding him to stay focused on mentally destroying his opponent, his simple reply: “That’s the plan!” I laughed out loud, thinking how relaxed his message sounded. That’s Matthew… calm, quiet, and ready to pounce. Later this month, he’ll be playing in the U.S. Amateur, where the best amateurs in the country will be competing. He’s off to UC Davis next year, and will be playing on the PGA Tour in the near future.

All three of these players wouldn’t be where they are today without their swing coach, Don Parsons. http://thestudioattwinlakes.ning.com. He’s an amazing coach who has committed himself to helping these kids take their games to another level. I feel privileged he asked me to be a part of the equation!

Everything you want is right there for the taking… immerse yourself in the process. 

We’re all afraid to succeed!

Yes we are – you, me, him, her, and all the rest of them. We’re afraid to step beyond our way of living, thinking, and believing. Most of us say we’re not, but the evidence is clear.

Do some of us figure out HOW to walk towards that next level? Absolutely… but the majority have to be taught how to make it happen. I had to be taught, and still work on this fear on a daily basis. My mindset is challenged regularly, forcing me to focus on the probable future rather than the possible failure.

I’m not arrogant enough to avoid the mirror when making this statement. I’m one of the biggest culprits. I lived 2/3’s of my life afraid of success and what it meant, both after and during the process. Achievement meant risk… risk meant failure… therefore, achievement had to mean failure. I was going to avoid that equation at all costs. Most of us do, either consciously or unconsciously.

“Success” simply means new, better, bigger… different. Our instincts try to avoid these new beginnings because of the inevitable short term pain that comes with the discovery. Hiding from bigger and better is a survival instinct. Our brain is doing it’s best to shield us from hurt, but one thing I can guarantee: The next level can only arrive after the pain and struggle. Our job is to override this instinct, step past our old belief systems, and create new impulses.

Don’t tell me you want success… do something about it! Risk what you’re afraid to risk. Take steps that most tell you will be impossible and a wast of time. Your goal: New, bigger, better, and different. When you say you can’t… do! When you think of the potential pain that could result… do! When they say don’t… do!

Do it now before you wish you could’ve done…