Why Won't They Give The Others A Chance?

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I’m sick and tired of listening to those who say that Tiger, Federer, Lance Armstrong, and the rest of the elite athletes should “step aside once in awhile, and let the others have a chance.” You’ve got to be kidding me with this garbage! LET the others?? As if they don’t have a choice to work harder, practice longer, study more? Phil Mickelson is forced to keep his man-boobs, right? Tiger calls him every night, reminding him to shove that extra doughnut down his throat? Prior to his “born-again” status, Roddick was kidnapped, handcuffed and forced to drink that 6-pack before beddie-bye time? Ahhh, I get it… he was physically tossed into those Hollywood clubs and made to stay out all night.

C’mon peoplez!! Stop hatin’!! 
The best are the best because they want it more, deserve it more, and simply work harder than the rest. Dominating their sport comes with sacrifice… “It’s a lifestyle,” Pete Sampras explained when asked why he didn’t socialize more during his career. “It’s all I do. Winning Grand Slams is all I think about…” These athletes know that getting to the top of the history books means they must do more than the rest are willing to do- more than they would even consider doing. This type of consistent success is much more than god-given talent… it’s an incredible level of mental toughness and discipline. 
Peyton Manning, of the Indianapolis Colts studies film more than he sees his family. Michael Vick, on the other hand, would rather watch dogs kill each other during his spare time. Hmmm… must be a coincidence that Manning has a championship ring, while Vick was just released from prison! Kobe Bryant is in the gym at 6:30 every morning, while most others are pulling the sheets over their eyes as the sun creeps in their bedroom. I know, I know…  500 thread-count feels so good! 

Are You Kidding Me? He Didn't Deserve To Win!

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I’ve been getting bombarded by Roddick fans about how well he played against Federer in the Wimbledon finals. They all believe that Roger shouldn’t have won the match because Andy played so much better. 

“Roddick outplayed Federer, without question…”

“Andy’s backhand was so sick – Federer couldn’t stop it…”
“Andy should’ve easily beaten Roger in 4 sets…”
“Federer got so lucky…”
“Federer couldn’t touch Roddick’s serve – he didn’t get broken until the last game…” 
These statements may have merit, but they’re missing a few important ingredients: 

Who broke Roddick’s serve the very last game?
Who was holding the trophy and giving his acceptance speech?
Who holds the all-time record for Grand Slams won?
(Oh… and who was crying on the podium after the match??)
Roddick looked great, and may have played the best match of his life, but it wasn’t enough. The reason he didn’t win this match is why I started Coach Your Mind. He lost because he didn’t handle the pressure of the situation as well as Federer. He lost because he couldn’t find that extra level of focus… WHEN HE NEEDED IT! 
Point-for-point, he may have outplayed Roger… but when those points mattered most, Roger clearly won the battle. Andy was up 6-2 in the 2nd set tiebreaker (first to 7 wins), with a simple backhand volley to to win the set, which would’ve ultimately won him the match. Being up 2 sets would’ve most likely ensured the win. What happened with that shot? Did he forget how to volley all of a sudden? No! The pressure of the moment was too much for him, mentally. 
Stop telling me that Roddick should’ve won because he “played better than Roger”… he didn’t win, and didn’t deserve to win. Strokes aren’t enough! Quickness isn’t enough! Ripped abs aren’t enough! His mind was stronger than it usually is, but during the huge points in the Wimbledon finals, Federer outplayed him… without question!

Finally… He Understands Want Vs. WANT!

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A student of mine originally inspired me to write about this topic, but after watching Roddick vs. Federer today in the Wimbledon finals, I decided that Andy deserved the attention. When he began his pro career, Roddick “wanted” to be the best, but never really understood what WANT truly meant. He found early success, winning the U.S. Open, and reaching the top spot on tour, but reality quickly slapped him in the face. Natural talent and good looks wouldn’t be enough to stay on top. He weighed over 200 lbs., drank more than his share of beer after matches, and was attracted to the Hollywood scene- ask Mandy Moore. He was a cocky kid who thought all he needed to succeed was a huge serve and forehand. He hired and fired Jimmy Conners and Brad Gilbert as coaches, mainly because they both believed that consistent success came from hard work… not Hard Rock Cafes!

Most everyone who followed the sport had written him off, but something miraculous happened… maybe it was the natural maturation process, or the nausea he felt every time he looked in his trophy case, but he finally began to understand there was a big difference between want and WANT! He hired another coach, and became committed to reaching that elite level of professional tennis. He lost weight, got quicker and stronger, and finally realized that improving his mental game had to be a priority. He was now more focused on the court, not allowing negative situations to destroy him. He wasn’t whining like a spoiled little kid anymore, but instead had created an intense stare in his eyes. When I looked at him today, I finally believed that HE believed he could beat Federer.  

I’ve never been a Roddick fan prior to today’s match, but I have to admit… I may have a man-crush on him now! 

Here's The SECRET!

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I’ll keep this short and simple…

EFFORT! EFFORT! EFFORT!

You want a coach or teacher to love you? Show him that you’re willing to put in the work necessary to reach that next level. Giving maximum effort shows that you not only respect what your coach is teaching, but it also shows him that you respect yourself and your own goals. As a coach, I don’t need the most talented student… I need the hardest worker. If you’re willing to sweat, fail, try harder, and maybe fail again before reaching your goals, I’ll do anything for you. I’ll put in as many hours for you as necessary, as long as you’re committed to giving me the same energy!
Effort is something that you can control, and is a character issue. Lack of effort = lack of character. Maximum effort = tremendous character!
You choose…

What Do You Want?

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Ten years ago, Liane and I were sitting in Coffee Bean enjoying a beautiful Saturday in Santa Barbara, when she decided to ruin the day by asking about our future. Don’t women understand that men don’t care about the future? We only want to watch our favorite football teams on t.v., drink our favorite beer (actually, any beer will do), and let our facial hair grow to a disgusting length.

She asked me what I wanted, and what I saw for us for in 5 years. We decided (yeah… you’re right – SHE decided) that we would write what we wanted on a napkin, and then read them to each other. She was literally finished in 10 minutes, while I took my sweet little time. By, “sweet little time,” I mean over an hour! I couldn’t commit to writing a single thing on that stupid, little brown napkin. I hated that napkin!!
WHY??
Why was it so difficult for me to answer the question, “what do I want?” What was I afraid of? Was I even afraid? What was holding me back? Come to find out, I was in the majority when it came to answering this simple question. Why do so many of us stumble when attempting to visualize our future wants and needs? 
When we do finally come up with an answer, why is it often so safe and predictable? Here’s an example from a past session I had with a man who wanted to start his own business: After talking with him for 15 minutes, I asked him to answer the dreaded question, “What do you want from your business, and how much do you want to make in the first year?” I was simply trying to gauge his mindset and attitude towards, not only his business, but of himself. He listed a few basic wants for his potential clients, but when it came to his yearly income, I almost fell out of my chair… remember, he could make whatever he wanted – there wasn’t a ceiling on his potential. He said he wished to make $65,000 the first year. WHAT??? I gave him the green light to make any amount, and he only chose $65,000? Now, many of you may argue that’s a good first year for a new business, and is probably more than he was currently making, which is a valid argument, but…
THAT’S NOT THE POINT OF THE QUESTION!
Why did he choose such a small number when he didn’t have any restrictions on his answer? He told me he wanted to be “realistic…” There’s that freakin’ word again. Let me translate what he really meant when he said realistic:
“I was scared out of my mind to reach for a higher salary, in case I failed and didn’t get my business off the ground. I didn’t want others to laugh at me for wanting to make hundreds of thousands, or god-forbid… millions. What if I would’ve said I wanted to make $3 million my first year? Everyone would think I was crazy, and setting unrealistic goals for myself! I’m too afraid of stepping out of my comfortable, safe zone, so I’ll give you a small salary for the first year and see what happens.” 
After weeks of careful coaxing, I got him to agree to “want” $165,000 in his first year. He made $159,000!!! Great Job, Jason.
Think bigger, believe bigger, EXPECT bigger!
*On a side note: I did finish my wants ten yrs. ago, and have reached 8-10 goals! That “stupid brown napkin” is taped to my wall.
 

Death By Inches

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Yesterday on sports talk radio, a former NFL quarterback was describing how the New England Patriots have consistently dominated their opponents the last few years. He said they’ve concentrated on “Death by inches,” meaning they move the ball down the field and pressure teams one inch at a time. The Patriots have been the most successful NFL team over the last 8 years, primarily due to this concept… they keep it simple, and believe that patience will eventually break down their opponents. 


This way of thinking will work in every part of our lives:

In business, it should be about one client at a time – making him happy now, focusing on meeting his needs at this moment, which will create a strong relationship in the future. When we’re taking important exams in the classroom, we should be mentally locked on answering this question, and only this question, rather than getting wrapped up in the entire test. In sports, our concentration should always be on this point, shot, pass, etc., and staying in the present at all times. There isn’t a past or future… only right now!

The Patriots have mastered slow and steady… Death By Inches consistently wins the race. Those who would rather be the hare will have their exhilarating moments, but will never feel the regular success the tortoise experiences.  

     “The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”  
                                                          -Chinese Proverb
                                            

To Specialize Or Not To Specialize?

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For every Agassi, Jordan, and Woods, there are millions of kids who never make it to the professional level. For as many college scholarships that are given each year, there are hundreds of thousands who never receive that offer. My question, therefore, is when do we have our kids / athletes specialize in one sport, rather than continuing with the others? 

I recently had a conversation with a mom of an 11 year old, who was emphatic  that her boy was going to play soccer, and ONLY soccer because she believed, “he had enough talent to get a college scholarship, and eventually turn pro…” AT 11 YEARS OLD, SHE KNOWS THIS???
I understand both sides of the argument:  
  • It’s important to play all kinds of sports, as it makes our kids well-rounded, but also can help improve their play in the others. Basketball, for example, is a great way to improve a tennis player’s footwork, speed, and jumping ability. 
  • Specializing allows the athlete to have a single focus, rather than splitting his time in other skill sets. It also puts him in front of those college scouts more often, giving him a bigger edge over his competition who are also trying for scholarships. 
When I was competing as a kid, I played tennis and basketball, both good enough for college scholarships, but I couldn’t imagine giving one up for the other. I went to Dos Pueblos H.S. instead of Santa Barbara because the SB tennis coach wanted me to quit basketball. Attending SB would’ve landed me on the best high school tennis team in Southern California, and would’ve placed me in front of many college scouts… but would it have been worth quitting a sport I loved?
When do we REALLY know that our athlete has the “it” factor, and how old is old enough to specialize? I constantly preach to my students to focus what you want, and attack it with maximum passion, but there must be a balancing act. At 11, his interests most likely will change, but if miss mommy thinks he has that special quality that separates him from the rest, is it o.k. to wear blinders?

Keep It To Yourself!

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There are many ways to practice our mental toughness, other than on the playing field. Take today, for example: I’m sitting in Starbucks this afternoon on a break from teaching, relaxing from the heat, when I hear him, her, and another her. I notice, though, that they’re alone. So why the heck are they so loud?! Ahhh… BLUETOOTH. I despise Bluetooth in public areas! It took every ounce of my mental and emotional control to stay calm, and not yank that small device out of their ears.
Why do people think I want to listen to their conversations? Does Joe Schmoe really think I care about his girl problems, and how he plans on punishing her for cheating on him? Does miss fake-tan college girl believe I enjoy listening to, “for sure… like omg… like no way… like Jason’s sooo hot!” Then there’s my favorite: 60 year old woman who’s had every type of facial surgery possible, making yet ANOTHER appointment for Botox work and an eye lift! It wasn’t only that she was loud that bothered me so much, but her voice was that New York, high, whiney type that can make dogs howl.
Bluetooth is great for the car… but please, please, please go back to the old school days where you’d actually put the phone up to your ear and talk at a mild volume. 
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the loud cell phone talkers…

Why Would You Ever Ignore Your Mental Game?

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What separates Bryant and Marbury? It sure isn’t athletic ability! They both can jump out of the building, run fast, and are phenomenal shooters. They’re both ripped, and can dunk every way possible. Marbury used to be considered one of the best natural scorers in the NBA, yet he will never be talked about in the same sentence as Kobe! Hmmm…

 
How about Brady and McNabb? These are both great quarterbacks, with impressive statistics on paper. They both have strong arms and incredible accuracy (well… McNabb does during the regular season). What makes Brady one of the best of all time, where some say Donovan should be traded out of Philly?

 

These two players are very interesting to me… Blake brings insane athletic ability and power to every match, yet there always seems to be something missing. I regularly use these two as examples in my private lessons when comparing the “very good” athletes to the superstars. Blake’s faster, stronger, has more power, jumps higher, but will NEVER have a chance against Federer in a Grand Slam. It must just be luck that separates the two…   

 

Other than Phil’s man-boobs, his flabby arms, and his 49″ waist, what’s the biggest difference between these two guys? Seriously, Phil… you should be embarrassed! Many “experts” have actually said Mickelson may have the most natural talent on the PGA Tour, but when it comes to the number of tournament wins, he’s not even close! Look closely at the pictures above… see any difference in their demeanor?