I don’t like to vent, usually. I’m learning to simply “let things go,” not allowing emotional garbage to clog the system. When we vent, we release it from our own bodies, but we then give it someone else. This morning, though, I need to free this specific negativity… hopefully someone will get something out of it.

While getting coffee this morning, I ran into Katherine, a mom of  a former student. Oh my goodness, did we have some fun words for each other – – more on that later. Her daughter (we’ll call her Cindy for this post) was an incredible athlete, and actually had professional talent, but lacked the mental toughness needed for the next level. Actually, she lacked the mental fortitude for the elite high school level.

When Cindy and I began working together, it was obvious that she was incredibly bright… maybe too bright. She would constantly over analyze her game, as a mathematician would analyze an equation. She saw every flaw in herself, not allowing freedom and imagination to enter her mindset. I remember something she said to me in our first session…

“I know I won’t improve this (specific) weakness – it’s too imbedded. My mom’s right!” 

Before every outcome, there’s an answer… before every answer, there’s a question. Therefore, shouldn’t we be asking more questions? No matter what has happened to us in the past, or what will happen in the future, a question has been asked along the way. Unfortunately, most questions we ask are negative and fear based.

The key is asking empowering questions that will evoke thoughtful, positive answers. Every question we ask instantly begins a chain reaction and a need for our mind to have to find the answer. Consequently, we have the ability to attain any positive future we want… simply by asking the correct type of questions.

Every answer to the above questions will have specific purpose, helping us take the appropriate actions that will draw us closer to our goals. We tend to live our days trying to find answers, rather than looking for questions that will evoke the answers we need. Conceptually, this is simple… unfortunately, we’ve created the mindset that searches for outcomes first, ignoring the process that leads to the outcome.

What questions should you be asking yourself that will elicit positive, powerful answers?

Empowering questions = Positive answers = Desired future.

                    PRESSURE              ROUTINE                   GOALS

                                                            MOTIVATIONS                              

ACTION    

                                                                          PASSION

                 POSITIVE                NEGATIVE                      

FEARS

I just finished an interview with a Los Angeles television station, regarding the story of NFL Or Bust (two posts prior), where Josh Johnson is attempting to become the NFL’s oldest rookie in history. When asked why I thought Josh had a chance of making it at his age, the answer came shooting out of my mouth, almost before he finished the question…

This was sent to me by a high school student of mine, who wishes to remain anonymous. She’s light years ahead of where I was at this age… probably most of us, yeah? There’s no doubt in my mind she’ll be an amazing success on whatever path she chooses to create for herself! 

“Practice makes perfect.” 

I grew up with this phrase drilled into my head that anything I do, no matter what it is, I can succeed as long as I put the effort in. However, recently (within the past few years) the first ‘P’ of this innuendo transformed into: “Pressure makes Perfect”. 

As strange as this may appear, perfect and pressure can coexist in the same phrase and actually compliment each other is a difficult concept. Shouldn’t pressure be something that breaks confidence, increases nerves, and squashes the ability to preform at top notch? 

To be honest, I hadn’t thought of pressure as this horrible cloud of nerves until someone told me to. Pressure is all around you just in different doses. It could be as simple as the pressure of putting your money back into your wallet when you’re done paying for something, or making an appointment on time; to having “more” pressure of presenting a job pitch, or a final serve in a volleyball match. Each form of pressure remains THE SAME. The only difference is how aware of it we are. 

Imagine for a minute that everything anyone had no pressure, everything anyone did came easily and stress- free. Sound nice? WRONG! Everything would stop at a standstill. There would be no competition, and businesses would collapse because there would be no driving force or ambition to succeed to higher levels than those around you. 

To “have a handle” on pressure is completely different than “handling” the pressure. By having a handle on it, you are controlling it – you have the power to manipulate it to become that driving force that can push you higher than those who are handling it. 

By creating a negative relation to the P-word, you are setting yourself up to merely handling it, rather than controlling the correct dosage of dedication, drive and opportunity to become the one everyone asks “How?” How did they become so successful, rich, positive, etc. 

Figuring out how to focus on the task at hand rather than the situation surrounding it, which is what creates the awareness of pressure, is the key to mastering and controlling “pressure-filled” situations. 

So the equations should really be: 

Pressure + Practice = Perfect!

Coincidence or fate?

A couple weeks ago, I walked into Starbucks and saw a friend, Josh Johnson, who I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. He’s this big, shaved head, tough looking dude who was our high school football quarterback and star field goal kicker. He actually still holds the county’s high school record for the longest field goal,
which is 52 yards.

                                                   

He told me that he was on a mission to become the oldest rookie in modern NFL history, and was going to try to make it as a field goal kicker. Naturally, I thought this was an incredible, inspiring goal. Being that he is 38 years old, it was obviously going to take some hard work. He went on to say he had an expert team of physical trainers, chiropractors, massage therapists, but was in the process of interviewing mental training coaches. When he said he was looking for someone to help him with the mental side of this endeavor, I almost fell down. Before I could find my way to the ground he asked,

“So… what do you do for a living?”

What do I do? What do I do? Did he just seriously ask me that question?

After talking with him for a couple of minutes, it was obvious that he was going to make a serious push at his goal of making it to the NFL. His main objective was to improve his mindset and emotional awareness, as he understood this is what was going to take him to the next level. He kept talking about “being emotionally calm and at peace,” rather than becoming that person only for his NFL tryouts. He wanted to improve from the inside-out, creating a calm mind that would always be a part of who he was.

Josh has created a specific picture in his mind of what he wants to achieve, he’s taking massive action, and he’s changing his definition of Pressure. Think about what he’s attempting to do… become an elite athlete at the age of 38, competing against the highest level possible. Strengthening his body is just a small part of the equation. He needs to completely create new, powerful mindsets and emotional triggers. There isn’t any room for doubt, as this would single-handedly crumble his goals.

The picture he’s painted in his mind has to be a clear as anything he sees with his eyes wide open. He has to be able to smell the grass on the field, hear the wind whistling through his helmut, and know with 100% certainty that he WILL make it!

Any pressure involved?

When we talked, he mentioned that he wanted pressure to disappear, hoping it would simply not be there. There would be pressure, and furthermore, he wanted and needed it be there. I reminded him that it’s pressure that would make his goals become a reality… but he would first have to redefine the word. He’s in the process of taking pressure, putting his arm around it, and making it an opportunity to…

Josh is an example for all of us who want a new or better (X). He reminds us that in order to achieve our lofty goals, we must make it clear in our minds what we want… make a blueprint of how we’re going to attain it… redefine pressure, making it a powerful weapon that will to work for us… and as always, take massive daily action.

Check out Josh’s journey, as he attempts to become (will become) the oldest rookie in NFL history!
www.nflorbust.com

This topic seems to continuously show it’s face, whether it’s with one of my students or my own day-to-day walk. It’s such an important issue, as it always finds it’s way into every aspect of our lives. Very often, we tend to overlook the importance pressure plays in our motivations and our attempts to reach our specific goals. I want to address a certain part of this word, and how it’s presented to most of us… actually, all of us!

This topic seems to continuously show it’s face, whether it’s with one of my students or my own day-to-day walk. It’s such an important issue, as it creeps into every aspect of our lives. Very often, we tend to overlook the importance pressure plays in our motivations and our attempts to reach our specific goals. I want to address a certain part of this word, and how it’s presented to most of us… actually, all of us!

When we meet pressure head-on, we’ve been taught to “handle” or “deal” with it as good as we know how. As I was trying to reach new levels in my sporting career, I was constantly taught that the athlete who “deals with pressure best will always come out ahead.” “Whoever handles the pressure, and can play through it will separate himself from the competition.”

I now understand they were all wrong, and have mislead my thinking and approach to this powerful word. I know… you all think I’m out of my mind, but let me explain:

We don’t “handle” a healthier body, do we? We don’t “deal” with eating correctly, and exercising regularly, correct? We love our new body… we embrace and invite the proper foods into our diet, and the endorphin rush that results from exercise.

We don’t “handle” a birdie in golf… we hope for, love, and need it.”

We don’t “deal” with an A on our exams… we yearn for it, study our butts off, expect that grade.

So, why are we supposed to handle and deal with pressure? Answer: We’ve associated pressure with negativity. We’ve linked adversity to pressure into our unconscious, making us immediately focus on how to “do our best when faced with this monster…” Instead of thinking of pressure as something to deal with, we should be putting our arm around it, inviting it into our every move. It’s because of pressure that we’ve succeeded. Let me repeat: Pressure is the reason we reach new levels, and isn’t something we should be afraid of.

How do we reshape our mindsets, making pressure work for us? Redefine the word!

Rather than equating fear with pressure, make it an OPPORTUNITY. It’s an opportunity to… (you fill in the blank, depending on your motivations and goals). Filling in the blank with anything you want is the best, and most powerful part of your new definition. Opportunity doesn’t allow fear or hesitation to enter it’s world. You can’t say, “pressure is an opportunity to…” and still be afraid to fail. Opportunity is power, which will ultimately result in the result we’re attempting to achieve.

Again, as written in my last post, it is this simple… but sometimes clarity is too clear to see.

In order for our mindset to shift, and be able to redefine pressure as our best friend, we must practice this every day. Every time we feel pressure, repeat our new definition. Our minds are a muscle… the harder we work, the faster we’ll achieve!

Pressure is an opportunity to…

We create those habits through massive, massive repetition… consciously and unconsciously. If we can create bad habits through such repetition, we can also create new, better habits through the same process.

The challenge is taking the necessary action to repeat the good habits over and over.

In order for anything to manifest, we must first make a conscious decision to want it to happen… this may be one of the most difficult things we do. Making that concrete decision isn’t easy, and is what holds many of us back from achieving new and better. We know we “want” something different, but too often, lack the courage to commit to that decision that will create a shift in our mindset.

The biggest mistake I see every day is people trying to “change bad habits.” Trying to change the habit actually makes us focus more attention on it, resulting in an even stronger bad habit. We spend so much time on the habit we don’t want, we ironically make it more powerful.

Instead, we should concentrate on CREATING NEW habits.


Figure out what we want… repeat over and over.


Sounds simple? It is!


It’s so simple, most completely overlook the ease at which these new habits materialize.


Clarity is very often too clear to see.