The Word Of The Day Is…


With the Winter Olympics upon us, I’m instantly drawn to the many topics and story lines developing every day. The Olympic games are the peak of mental and emotional toughness, and for some athletes, the single moment that will define their careers.

Breaking down the competition to it’s simplest form: They’re attempting to elevate their performance to it’s maximum potential while under maximum pressure.

Elevate: To move or raise to a higher place or position; lift up.

Most Olympic athletes train for years in order to perform for seconds. Some are given the luxury of minutes, but all are attempting to find the mental clarity that will allow them to find the race, skate, run, or jump of a lifetime.

We’re all looking (or should be) to “elevate our game” to new heights, often times needing a simple reminder… the honest look in the mirror that convinces us the new levels we seek are there, and that we do deserve to reach that summit. Are we looking at our reflection often enough, asking the proper and powerful questions? Do we ask, “how, when, what will I?” Do we push back when the pain of action tests our convictions, and dares us to quit?

We don’t have to be Olympic athletes to understand how valuable daily persistence and discipline can be to our lives. All of us who have decided to commit to a life changing goal are closer to these athletes than we know. Pain, fatigue, doubt… positive action, confidence, and breakthroughs are all part of our routines, and speak to us daily. We’ve all felt the urge to quit – maybe some of us actually have… but if you’re reading this, it means you’ve stood up, dusted off, and continued your walk.

When you turn on your t.v. and witness the incredible accomplishments of these young kids competing for their country, remember… they’re representing you and your daily achievements! You too are elevating. You too are climbing to a higher standard.

Be Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Anyone familiar with these:

“But I don’t want to… I’ve never done that before.”

“I can’t… I’m afraid of the unknown.”

“What if I face something I’m not prepared for? I hate that feeling.”

Mr. Comfortable is a tricky dude. He makes us think we need him in order to become successful, but I’ve learned (mostly the hard way) the opposite is true. We’ll find a deeper, longer lasting success if we learn to invite Uncomfortable into our day.
Uncomfortable makes us think… Uncomfortable creates the need to look for new and innovating ways to accomplish. She can sting, often confuse, but always teaches. The challenge with Uncomfortable is the difficulty we have making a lasting friendship with her. It’s too easy to get upset with her, as she constantly puts us in positions we’re unfamiliar with. Very often, this unfamiliarity makes us want to make that call back to Comfortable… we have his number memorized.
Comfortable is so supportive, isn’t he? He always tells us what we want to hear, and makes us feel good about ourselves no matter what we choose. He never tells us the whole truth though, leaving us feeling a false sense of security. Comfortable wants and NEEDS us to keep coming back, which means he’s never going to suggest diving into the unknown… even if it means personal growth and achievement. He’s the anti-growth!
Uncomfortable, conversely, will never tell us only what we want to hear. Her goal is to always tell us what we need to hear, knowing this is the only way to reach new levels.
She understands we must learn to be Comfortable with being Uncomfortable!

Becoming Comfortable with Uncomfortable will make us look at growth through clearer lenses, allowing us to see expansion, where others only see downsizing. If Uncomfortable becomes a natural part of our mindset, and is accepted as “normal,” think of the possibilities that will automatically arise. How different would our every day become if we invited Uncomfortable to join us in our decision making process? How many more opportunities would come knocking?
The next time Comfortable texts you or leaves a message on your home phone, hit the Erase button, and immediately speed dial Uncomfortable.


I Don't Believe In The Power Of Positive Thinking

I was recently talking with a mom who was inquiring about Coach Your Mind, and if I may be able to help her son. Within two minutes, she asked if I taught “the power of positive thinking.”

“Absolutely not!” I answered

(dramatic, nervous pause) 


She looked at me as if I was a crazy person. “What?!!” she questioned, almost angrily.

(another nervous pause)


I don’t like the term, power of positive thinking… and never mention it to my students. It just feels overplayed and diluted. When people here it, they actually give a look, as if to say…

“Yeah, yeah – I’ve heard all that positive thinking stuff before. Give me something new!”


I teach the power of Possible Thinking! Possible Thinking is where we step up to new heights, look down at our old lives, and laugh at the past. When we give-in to the Possible, our minds stop looking for ways to fail, and begin searching for bigger, better, new… Possible.

This has been one of my bigger challenges, growing up. My first reaction used to be about why I couldn’t, wouldn’t, and never will achieve. Through the incredible experience of learning how to create a new mindset for myself, I realized ways of helping others with this challenge as well. Possible Thinking isn’t always easy, and doesn’t often come naturally… but with practice, will transform our way of living.

Every time we walk head first into an obstacle, or focus on a passion we wish would materialize, let’s create a new habit of asking why it will be Possible. New mindsets are like muscles… they can’t improve without constant attention. We have to practice daily if we hope to create a unique, exceptional way of thinking… ultimately leading to a more inspiring way of living.

Being positive is an important quality to have… Thinking Possibilities will open us to opportunities we never dreamed were attainable!




Do You Need Evidence?

I love starting a new week with something to make us say…. hmmmm. Hopefully you will.

Most of us continue on our difficult journey only when there’s evidence that supports our desired result. Very few keep stepping when nothing is all they see… when “failure” is laughing at them. These few are who I want to talk about. These people live in the minority, and enjoy a club they know will never be overflowing with members. When they glance at their reflection, they see an invisible smile coming from within, knowing they have a group secret ~ knowing they’ve figured out how to stand out from the rest.

These people understand that evidence isn’t, and never will be, the key. Self belief is their master. This type of belief is unflappable, living deep in their core. It looks at past failure as something that doesn’t exist, created by those who were too weak to look for an alternative. This ‘F’ word is a good word, only fueling their intense passion to succeed when others say it will be impossible… knocking down walls built by the scared.

In their world, evidence is all around, especially living in their minds and imaginations. They don’t need a past to tell them, “yes, you are worthy.” Their main objective is to create a present that proves the past is unimportant, and the future awaits with open arms. Of course, the past should be learned from, potentially improving the present, but never playing a role in whether or not we reach the finish line today.


“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Thomas A. Edison


You see… these few, special players in our never ending game have learned that possibility begins, not with the opinions of others or actions from our past-selves, but rather from our thoughts and beliefs. They believe because they’ve chosen to believe, not because someone has told them it was safe and probable. They believe because they know negative past actions don’t dictate positive future results!

Evidence: Need any? 

Could You Use More Of This?

To be good is great. To have passion is wonderful. To want more is outstanding. All of those qualities aren’t enough… we must have something else to make them come together and stick for the long term.

We need discipline… lots and lots of discipline!

Want to lose weight, become healthier, and live a new life? What’s going to stop us from eating those chocolate chip cookies? What’s going to make us get out of bed and run those miles when we’d rather keep sleeping? How do we say no to those offering us a soda… especially our favorite soda that we used to drink by the case? The answer isn’t passion, that desperate need for change, or a specific talent we were born with. Discipline is the glue that connects our wants and needs, turning them into long term reality.

Unfortunately, discipline is underrated and rarely talked about in the same sentence as passion and talent. Those two guys are famous for creating change, yet if you ask them, they’ll tell you the truth… they’ll tell you who the real hero is. Without discipline, passion and talent can only go so far ~ will only reach a few. And the people they do reach will most likely experience their new success for a short time because they failed to reach out and introduce themselves to discipline.

What separates the good from the great? Talent plays a part, passion takes that talent to the next level, but what allows that next level to keep breathing and striving for even more? Discipline, baby! 


Think about your own life for a second and that change you’ve wanted to make. Maybe you actually did change for a short time, but eventually fell back to your “old self” and your old habits. What was the reason for the setback? Lack of passion or discipline? If the answer is passion, then discipline can’t help… and actually won’t begin to enter your life until you’ve solved the passion quiz. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and honestly say you were as discipline as you could’ve been?

This ‘D’ word isn’t magical, and isn’t difficult to find… but we must make a conscious decision to bring him into our life, and be “discipline enough” to keep him here!

When Pressure Puts A Mirror To Your Face… What Do You See?

I was recently watching a tennis match, where Roger Federer was on the brink of losing, but found a way to come back and win. The announcers kept talking about his ability to “thrive under pressure.” They were in awe of how good he plays when he’s under the most stress, trying to explain it to the viewers, but not quite sure what to say.

I couldn’t help but scream at the television, wishing I was in the booth breaking down Federer’s mental toughness. He does thrive under pressure, playing his best when he’s being pushed to the limit… but why? What separates him from the others? During these moments, what does he see staring back at him when he’s forced to look in the mirror?

I ask these questions, not because I want you to analyze a sporting event ~ instead, I want you to ponder your own specific challenges and pressures. You and Federer have a lot in common… you just don’t know it yet.

The more strain he feels, the better he plays… why? Because he LOVES THE PRESSURE! He embraces the difficult emotional moments, and understands that most of his competition does not. How does this relate to your life? Pressure is a part of all of us, whether we’re professional athletes, trying to create a healthier body, in the corporate world ~ whatever the specifics. How we handle the pressure is what will ultimately define us.

Learn to love the pressure we feel, rather than running away.

“I love the challenge of losing (X) lbs. this month. This will be exciting, trying to stay mentally and emotionally tough all month long. Nothing will hold me from accomplishing my goal because I’m too tough. I love the pressure.”

“I thrive under the pressure my boss just put on my shoulders. The higher the expectations, the better I’ll do.”

Pick a situation, put “love the pressure” into the sentence, and witness the different feelings you immediately have. Strength and confidence automatically become part of your core, because there isn’t fear attached to that pressure any longer ~ only passion, assurance, and determination.

Roger Federer competes better than his opponents when the match is on the line ~ when he’s walking that tight rope. He’s learned to love the situation, and builds confidence from the fact that most run away from it. You can love it too. Simply, switch your mindset.

Look at your specific challenges through different lenses from now on. Break away from the majority who dread these moments… who fear failure. Instead, invite success!

Pressure is our best friend. He forces us to concentrate and dig deep to achieve. He’s directly responsible for every goal we’ve accomplished in the past, and every goal we’ll attain in the future.

When pressure puts a mirror to your face… what do you see?

I Have A Dream…

January 18th was Martin Luther King day, which in my world, is a huge deal. Where I walk, it means bigger, better, new, and more. This day symbolizes possibilities in a world that, at the time, didn’t believe in a new way of thinking. Martin Luther King recognized the need for change, but did more than just talk about what he wanted and saw for the future ~ he took action! His daily path was full of sharing, and a willingness to stand for those who couldn’t stand for themselves. He made sure they had a voice, even if (especially when) others attempted to silence his call. He was a quiet man who spoke with a loud roar. He stood courageously while the fearful threw stones of anger and ignorance. It was this ignorance and fear that fueled his passion… not to prove the nay-sayers wrong, but rather to help them see the same possibilities he dreamed of. He loved them. The more they hated him, the more love he wanted them to feel.

He did have a dream, and knew light would shine on that dream, changing the world forever. It arrived. It’s still arriving.

My words will never be worthy to be on the same page as this great man, so instead, I’ll give you his:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” 


“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent.” 



“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” 


“At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.” 


“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” 


“A lie cannot live.”


“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” 


“Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.” 


“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.” 




“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.” 



“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”


“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?” 


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

When Will Enough Be Enough?

When will we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and begin taking control?

We all have control ~ control over how we think, feel, and what we choose to believe. If we improve those three aspects of our lives, the empowerment that immediately takes place will be overwhelming.  So often, we’re victims of others’ thoughts, emotions, and opinions… making us live in their world of unhappiness, disguised as our own.

When will enough be enough?

When will we stop making excuses and begin creating a course of action? This path of productivity is success all by itself, standing on it’s own two feet, waiting for us to trust. To move forward, we must trust in ourselves, our passions, our hopes, and our strength. Yep… we’re strong! Even (especially) during the weakest of moments, we possess the power to overcome those demons that laugh in our face. In order to make that strength come to life, we must first punch back ~ take control back, and realize we do own our futures. We’re not destined to live a life of “less-than.”

When will enough be enough?

When will we stop asking them to create our happiness, and begin painting our own pictures? They are not responsible for our exhilaration through this adventure! They are not responsible!! They will never be able to dictate our thoughts, emotions, and decisions… unless we give them the power. I understand this isn’t new advice, but I do believe the action needed to accomplish such high-end results isn’t being taken often enough. We don’t listen (or even ask, for that matter) to ourselves enough, which allows them to weight-in, delivering messages better suited for their wants and needs. We fall into this trap time after time.

When will we read messages like this and begin putting them into immediate action? When will we start believing in our own message that’s been ringing in our minds for God knows how long? If that call hasn’t yet begun ringing, when will we fix the ringer? When do we unlock the ball-and-chain that’s kept us trapped for so long?


When will we find the courage to say “Enough!”

I'm The Greatest At Being Humble. Really… I'm The Best!


I won’t tell you how good i am at what I do, or mention that I believe (excuse me… know) that I’m the best in my area at my speciality. I refuse to say this because I’m so damn humble!

Humble: Not proud or arrogant; modest.
Use in sentence: Even though I know I’m the greatest, I won’t tell anyone because I’m so humble.
Humility is becoming a lost art, if it hasn’t already disappeared completely. I say “art” because it takes so much creativity to achieve in these days of self promotion. “Look at me. You need me. No one does it better, or can take care of you the way I can. I will take you further into the next level!”
Humility starts at the top, and will only be accomplished if the cycle continues down the chain. When that chain is broken… so begins the cockiness, eventually leading to arrogance. When this type of behavior takes control, it makes humility feel like a second class citizen. Arrogance is very powerful, overwhelming, and extremely addicting. I compare it to the strongest of villains… it has the illusion of invincibility, but as in all stories, the super hero continuously finds a way to win in the end.
Humility is the super hero in this adventure. She very often takes a back seat to the villain, and even gives the impression of defeat in the middle of the story, but always seems to find her way back to the top before the credits run. She truly believes that you don’t need to know how strong she is… her actions will be proof enough. Her motto has always been, “I don’t need to talk… watch, I’ll show you.” She never allows others to feel as if they are less than, and if anything, she enjoys taking on that role. She doesn’t mind “taking it for the team,” if it means long term growth and change for her teammates.
Humility… consistently apprehending the bad guys, never taking the credit, and she’s always scoring the cute boy!
(did I just say “cute boy?”)


Live In The Why

To those of you who are looking for a New and Better, and visit CoachYourMind because you’re in need of a kick in the arse or just a simple reminder… I have a challenge for you:

Think of that Better Road you wish for yourself, and ask why you want to travel that direction. After you’ve answered that simple question, throw it in the garbage and ask again. This time, go deeper!
Begin living in the Why…
This Why won’t allow lack of motivation to enter any part of your day. This Why is the reason you were born, and the gift you’ll give back when you leave. Your new Why can’t be lazy and doesn’t understand “too tough to continue.” I’d say this Why is bullet proof, but that wouldn’t do it justice.
I hear you responding now:
“Dayne, my Why is already strong enough. I’ve improved (X) amount already… look at my new and different (X).”
“New and different” is relative, and easy to attain… just matters what you’re comparing it to. I’m not talking about the simple Why, I’m mean that Why you’ve only heard others whispering about.
Ever wake up too tired to do (X)? If yes, then your Why needs reevaluating. Does that piece of chocolate cake make you question your (X)? If so, give that Why a harsh talking-to. Does your best friend or close family member make your Why hold on to question marks, due to the impossible task of your (X)? Yeah? Your Why may need some Human Growth Hormones.
When we find our true Why, nothing is too tiring, too choco-liscious, or impossible. This type of Why feeds the adrenaline pumping through our veins, and is what keeps our eyes open in the middle of the night, searching for even more ways to accomplish our (X)!
This Why isn’t easy to find, and isn’t supposed to be. If you answered the initial question in the beginning of this post within 15 minutes, your Why isn’t strong enough. I know I’ll probably get some heat for that last accusation, but that’s o.k… because after you’re done yelling at me, you may just secretly look for a deeper, new Why. I can take that kind of heat, as long as passion is connected, and a new mindset becomes a possibility.
This is my challenge for you. Are you up to it? I don’t guarantee much, but I will here:
You’ll soon discover that when you say, “Why”… it’ll no longer be a question!!